Dealing with Transition

It’s not easy. It’s not fun. But it is inevitable and tamable. What am I even talking about? Change and transition. First, something in your life occurs that prompts a feeling of unfamiliarity. That’s the change. Then you make a series of choices to attempt to cope and navigate this new territory to the best of your knowledge. That’s the transitional phase. This is the ebb and flow of life. I kind of always knew this in theory, but as we all know, nothing is quite as it seems, especially when it affects you personally. For me, this life lesson didn’t really phase me until I left home and actually experienced it firsthand.

As independent as I was at home, it was shockingly difficult to be miles away from everything I called ‘home.’ I can tell you right now, though, that in just two short years, I have built an emotional skill set that’s allowed me to transition from one stage of life to another more smoothly than the time before. I am grateful for building this foundational skill set so young. Going through this steep learning curve has taught me so much more about myself. Even transitioning from the holidays back to school mode multiple times freshman year was not easy for me. As time went on, I learned to adapt more smoothly without much fuss. This was not only because my college world was becoming more familiar but, more importantly, I had grown up and learned personal techniques that allowed me to make those adjustments less emotional when things still felt unfamiliar.

There are a lot of ‘firsts’ you’ll experience as you close one chapter of your life and enter a new one. I write this so you are aware everyone goes through them. You can’t escape the continuous lessons of change and transition. If you think transition just doesn’t phase some people, you’re witnessing one of two things: they hide it well or they have developed strong, mental tools to cope with it. I hope it’s the latter. It’s how we react to change that makes all the difference.

Although people handle transition and change differently, it’s critical to understand that almost anyone you talk to would respond, “me too” if you opened up the conversation. And my guess is that they’ll forever appreciate the permission you gave them to be brave and open by, simply, starting this vulnerable conversation.

So be courageous, be a leader and open up to a roommate or classmate you trust enough to share thoughts on this transition that all seventeen hundred and forty six of you all are going through.

Jackie Choucair

Management Science and Engineering
Class of 2017

If you have a Stanford Story you would like to share, contact melissas@stanford.edu.